Why do I do it?

My dear sweet boy,

You ask why I do what I do. You cannot understand what I get out of what I do.

The way I feel today is why I do it. It is not all about the scene for me. I prepare it. I plan it. I make decisions about it. When I do all of that my whole body fizzes. Every cell in my being is alive and waiting. I can taste the anticipation. I no longer fear that you will not enjoy my plans. Even if they are spectacular failures they only add to the list of what I know about you.

On Wednesday night I showed you what it looks like when I don’t care. I could have been any woman and it did nothing for you.

I am not any woman though. I am your Miss and I do care. I care about all of you, about what you do, how you feel. I want you to know joy with me. I want your whole body to fizz.

I am so excited about tonight. I have made you a special present.

Are you excited?



Awkward Conversation

When I made his spreader bar & used it on him he broke the clip on his ankle cuff in his excitement. I had a look around eBay & found 10 clips for €2 which would do the job perfectly.

They arrived in the post yesterday while my mother was visiting and of course she asked why I bought them. My choices for answers were:

Well, my boy broke the clip on his bondage cuff while I had him hung out of the door frame and getting these clips means I don’t have to replace the whole clip & now I can tie him up again.


I saw an idea for Christmas decorations using clips. I got them for €2 on eBay so I figured “what the heck”

I opted for #2 but I suspect she will want to see the decorations. I think that will have to be a DIY fail that I will just never be able to produce 😉