Per

I told him to memorise a word from a book.

He did.

I told him to choose two rewards.

He chose:

1. Orgasm
2. Massage

I told him to take off his clothes & stand at the wall.

He did.

I told him to pick a number between 30 & 45.

He chose 40.

I set the timer for 40 minutes & told him that if he could keep his word to himself until the timer went off I would decide on a reward for him.

I had him stand spreadeagled against the wall.
I hit him with the crop.
I spanked him.
I played with his hard cock.
I hit him with the crop and played with his hard cock at the same time.
I used my wand on his cock, balls and nipples.
I teased him.
I kissed him and refused to kiss him.

I asked him if he wanted to stop.

Each time he said no. He wanted to wait for his reward.

I pointed out that he may not like his reward.

He still chose to wait.

With 45 seconds to go I took his nipples between my finger and thumb nails and I pinched.

He lasted til the buzzer.

His word was per

I kissed him. Took him to bed. Held him. Loved him.

He was a good boy & he was rewarded.

I feel like a puppy

Puppies love cuddles and walks and being rubbed and generally being loved. They are all their favourite things.

After a scene yesterday, our first for too long, I felt like that puppy. It was my favourite thing. I was giddy in that puppy way, wanting to know that he had a good time, not because it affected whether I had a good time of not but because I wanted it to be his favourite thing too. I wanted him to get to feel the way I was feeling.

His enjoyment of our sex does not influence whether I enjoy sex. I will probably die not knowing what he gets out of it, wondering how he can possibly get anything out of it but I am coming to accept the fact that he enjoys it. Accept that it is the best sex of his life. None of which actually influences that it is the best sex of my life.

But like a puppy I am made happy by him being happy.

he is happy.

The Beauty of his Love

his nails scour the skin on my back, giving all the feedback I need to feel, to know, to savour his contact with me. The feint marks create a roadmap of his desire to connect with me, more than he already is.

The fingers of his other hand seek & find the spot that makes my hips buck, my back arch, my breath catch – over and over.

His mouth sends sparks through me as he kisses the small of my back, gently nibbling my skin, again increasing the intensity of his proximity to me.

I cannot see him, cannot see that blissful look on his face or the excitement in his eyes but I can feel it as he uses himself to increase my pleasure.

I may die not know what pleasure he derives from giving me pleasure but in those moments I am enveloped in the beauty of his love for me, held safe in the knowledge that this special connection that we share ties us together in a way nothing else can.

Still my boy

Whether you are managing to take over the world or not, you are still my boy.

Whether you attain the unattainable or not, you are still my boy.

Whether you are top dog or not, you are still my boy.

Yes, No, Maybe… can you repeat the question?

I stole this from Deviant Wench

Only two rules: 1- You must answer yes or no. 2- You may not explain unless someone asks.

Have you ever:

Taken a picture naked? Yes
Made money illegally? No
Had a one night stand? Yes
Been in a fist fight? No
Slept with your best friend? No
Had sex in a public place? Yes
Ditched work to have sex? Yes
Slept with a member of the same sex? Yes
Seen someone die? Yes
Run from the police? No
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? Yes
Worn your partners unmentionables? Yes
Fallen asleep at work? Yes
Used toys in the bedroom? Yes
Run a red light? Yes
Been fired? No
Been in a car accident? Yes
Pole danced or done a striptease? No
Loved someone you shouldn’t? No
Sang karaoke? No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? Yes
Caught someone having sex? Yes
Kissed a perfect stranger? Yes
Shaved your partner? No
Given your private parts a nickname? No
Ever gone in public without underwear? Yes
Had sex on a roof top? No
Played chicken? No
Mooned/flashed someone? No
Slept naked? Yes
Blacked out from drinking? Yes
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? Yes
Been with someone because they were in a band? No
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? Yes
Shot a gun? No
Gone outside naked? No

Now people. I know there are some of you out there. I know some of you are reading. It’s time to start commenting!

Is self praise no praise?

When I am organised and on top of things he thinks I’m extra hot (when I’m on top of him he thinks I’m extra hot too).

Today is one of those days. Everything that needed to be done for done. Some stuff that didn’t need to be done got done too.

Even I think I’m hot today!

When you ask me again…

You ask me, and sometimes tell me, about going “back” to a vanilla way of life, of “calling a halt” to D/s.  When I asked you last night about why you do it the clearest answer you gave me was that you want to know from me what this way of life is the way I want to continue.

This is the way I want to continue.  Full stop.  This is our way of life.  This is the way we do things.

So the next time you ask me, rather than letting my head think you want out, I am going to remember that you just want confirmation that I want in.

Well, my boy, I am all in.