So many things have happened this year already. As I mentioned already we no longer have the buzz of not seeing each other at times.
Somewhere in there I forgot exactly what this thing that we do actually is. I forgot the feeling I get from it. I forgot the joy I have in knowing I control his orgasm, especially over a prolonged period of time. I forgot how exciting it is to elicit that look on his face, that dip of one of his hips as the feeling of submissiveness rips through his body & he has difficulty standing up.
As instructed he cooked dinner naked but instead of an apron he had a cream ribbon tied around his cock and HANDS OFF! written on his lower abdomen.
He has been messing with himself. He has given me a variety of excuses why it has happened, all of which are bullshit. Most recently I walked into his office & found him furtive & watching porn.
Back to the dinner…
Being naked I was free to mess with him. No clothes, no grown up practical reasons to stop me. I wasn’t in the mood to be stopped. So I messed with him, over and over. All the way to the edge and stop, again and again. I ruined his orgasm, I left him wanting, needing more. He is so very mine when he bounces with the need to orgasm. It is in that moment that he is all mine, when all he wants in the world is my attention.
I ruined his orgasm & left him to go and wash my hands.
I came back in his robe & sat on the side of the bed. He was lying exactly where I left him. I took his penis in my hand, soft from the ruined orgasm, and confirmed that he had ejaculated but not orgasmed.
I started masturbating him and he covered his face. I instructed him to uncover his face as I wanted to look at it. He moaned, groaned, wriggled, squirmed, bit the inside of his arm. As the intensity of the feelings rose I knew his orgasm was close.
In the moment, as his body reacted to his orgasm I was stunned by the beauty of it. I was overwhelmed by the power of the moment, by the magnitude of this gift I gave him, that was mine to give him.
Right there & then I felt the calm of owning him, of knowing exactly how to bring him pleasure, of knowing him.
My dear sweet boy,
You ask why I do what I do. You cannot understand what I get out of what I do.
The way I feel today is why I do it. It is not all about the scene for me. I prepare it. I plan it. I make decisions about it. When I do all of that my whole body fizzes. Every cell in my being is alive and waiting. I can taste the anticipation. I no longer fear that you will not enjoy my plans. Even if they are spectacular failures they only add to the list of what I know about you.
On Wednesday night I showed you what it looks like when I don’t care. I could have been any woman and it did nothing for you.
I am not any woman though. I am your Miss and I do care. I care about all of you, about what you do, how you feel. I want you to know joy with me. I want your whole body to fizz.
I am so excited about tonight. I have made you a special present.
Are you excited?